| One thing rednecks love to do: eat. It's an old tradition, | | | | carcass in barb wire and set it up between two trees |
| eating good filling meals with friends and a liberal dose | | | | very close to the fire, and you need to be sure |
| of beer or other lubricants added. Unfortunately, a lot | | | | someone can turn the roast with a stick so it cooks |
| of rednecks have lost touch with the tradition of the | | | | fairly evenly. It will roast for hours. For safety's sake, |
| pig roast and the fish fry, a great excuse to cook | | | | get a meat thermometer and make sure it gets to 185 |
| (destructively, as fire is often involved and sometimes | | | | degrees all over. Local barbecue sauce is optional. |
| not in a good way) some really good food and shoot | | | | There are plenty of options besides the barb-wire |
| the bull with your friends. | | | | technique. A Cajun microwave is an in-ground metal |
| Both these great redneck traditions require one thing | | | | oven; you put the pig in with any seasonings, bury the |
| above all: a reasonably safe place to do the cooking | | | | box up to the lip, put the lid on, and build a fire on top. A |
| and the gathering, preferably not close to anything | | | | lot of people are using injections too, where they take |
| flammable you treasure like your house. And to do it | | | | whiskey or marinades and inject them into the |
| right, you'll need space for two different fires: a bonfire | | | | meatiest parts of the roast every couple of hours. |
| that everyone can sit around and use to dispose of | | | | And then there are the optional side dishes. |
| their trash, and a cooking fire off to the side. This | | | | Fish fries are, surprisingly, easier and start out more |
| means the best place to set up is generally in a woods | | | | fun. Catch a mess of fish, and clean and chill them. |
| clearing, and you don't want to do it during a dry | | | | You'll need a big cooler to keep them in while you're |
| season. | | | | preparing them. Your cooking tools in this case are a |
| Inviting people is the easiest part. Call a few friends | | | | turkey deep frier (available in most outdoor stores and |
| and tell them to bring a few friends who can also bring | | | | nearly everywhere at Thanksgiving), about 20 gallons |
| a few friends - preferably female friends. It should be | | | | of peanut oil, and enough of a ½ corn meal/ ½ |
| a BYOB affair, as you don't want to pay for all that | | | | flour / salt and pepper breading mix to cover all your |
| beer and you also don't want the people who show up | | | | fish. Rinse the fish, dip them in the breading, and drop |
| just for the free booze. | | | | them into hot oil to cook. They're done when they float |
| Set your bonfire and cookfire up the night before. If | | | | to the top, and you can drain them redneck style by |
| there are some good-size logs in the vicinity, pull them | | | | laying them out on a sturdy screen. Bring along plenty |
| up; people will come and sit on them. Scout around to | | | | of buns and tartar sauce. |
| get an idea of parking issues, and if you're not familiar | | | | Trade off cooking duties with friends, and spend the |
| with the area do a quick check for things like snakes | | | | day hanging out, listening to country music, chatting with |
| and other pesky critters that could interfere with your | | | | your friends, and eating some of your tasty |
| redneck party. | | | | concoctions. Ideally, everyone should be able to park |
| If you're doing a pig roast, you need to either butcher | | | | where bumpers and tailgates make handy seats, and |
| and clean a pig yourself or get someone to do it for | | | | you definitely want to encourage the talented |
| you. Because the modern redneck tends to be a little | | | | rednecks in your group to bring along guitars to sing |
| more squeamish than his forefathers, you'll probably | | | | some good country music. The only other thing you're |
| want to do the latter. Make sure there's some way to | | | | likely to need: plenty of ice for chilling the beer that will |
| rig a suspension right next to (not over) the fire so you | | | | show up. |
| can roast the pig. Tradition dictates that you wrap the | | | | |